How not to change a bicycle chain

Hell of the North

It's taken me almost a week to recover and write this post. Must have been a tough race! Hell was 55 miles, 4 dirt road sections, 2 18% climbs on dirt, a nasty head wind on the paved sections and 92 F. We all finished, no one walked a hill and the results were spectacular.

Riding in the team van from Sayre on Friday were Dan Hertzler, Scott Ouderkirk, Brian Klotz and myself. Dave Prugh went down with his wife separately. First goal get to Cambridge NY before registration closes at 5:00 Note to self don't ever let Danny naviaguess. I swear that boy could get lost in a supermarket. Trip goes well, coming into the twisty roads of Cambridge we catch an SUV from NJ loaded with bikes. Of course I have to pass them. I may not win the race but I can always win the race to registration. Didn't know my diving could make my teammates scream like little girls.

We make it to registration with five minutes to spare, pick up our numbers, some cow bracelets and use the bathroom at a local bike shop. "I have two goals for today and we have accomplished both" declares Scott. Note to self more bathroom stops when traveling with the team. Back in the van we head to Salem NY, the start finish line of the Tour of Battenkill. We park behind a Church suit up and go to preride the course. The first real dirt hill is only ten miles outside of town and we wanted to stretch and see how bad it would be. The road is nice out of town but the first dirt section comes quick. Fast and smooth like Monkey Run with a quick tight down hill the route circles us back to Salem. Yikes lets not get dropped on the first section. The next day this section would feature the famous line " Watch water bottle!" "No,that was a rock!"

After a short flat section the course makes a sharp left and heads up county road 64. A nasty little climb that reminds me more of Bird Creek then Lattabrook. Midway up the hill is a small hotel and two guys offer us a beer as we pass them. "How is it, we're racing tomorrow?" they shout encouragement. The only race these guys will ever win is to the beer tent. I wish I was sitting there drinking with them. I spin easily up the hill, ok this is not so bad. Another left takes us onto Juniper Swamp Road the first nasty dirt section. This is the section that the web site shows fit older guys pushing their bikes up. At the bottom of the climb we run into Dave and his wife who were driving the course. The black flies are biting! Get up the hill Bobby. I climb the hill and don't have to get off the bike. It's tough, but easier then we were led to believe. The training hill I have been using in Sayre Meadowlark Lane is tougher then this. So at least I have that going for me. We turn around here and scream down the hill to Salem. I give some mountain bike downhill tips to the guys. "Speed is your friend, stand up, hold the handlebars loosely and let the bike bounce under you" A lesson we will all heed tomorrow

Dinner is an all you can eat spaghetti buffet in Cambridge. Nice dinner, we flirt with the waitress, (of course she is eyeing Danny), get free water bottles and sit next to a pro team. Ok we kinda make fun of their name Team R.A.C.E. Pro. Ok who do these guys think they are?





Team RACE Pro happens to be former Tour de France rider Steve Bauer's team. Mark Walters their Captain would come in second in the Pro Race the next day. Opps! We sat next to a guy who

• Participated in 11 Tours
• Won the first stage of the 1988 Tour.
• 14 days in Yellow Jersey.

That's who these guys were Dohh! Note to self Don't diss the pros from Canada.



Oblivious of our social error we go to Sarratoga Springs to spend the night. The town is hopping with the good weather. People are all over down town partying on a Friday night. Good exhausted racers we head to bed early. Awwww.

Up early on Saturday we reload the van and head off to Salem for the race. Best decision of the trip: We are up a little early and I decide to ride the last section of the race course in the van into town. This section is truly nasty. Only about five miles from the finish Ferguson Road has been recently regraded by the highway department. Dusty, soft, big rocks, and a nasty climb! Good news is it is downhill and paved for the last three miles into town. I think if we had not predrove this section I would have abandoned on this last hill.

We set up the trainers in the parking lot and did our best to warm up. We were all racing different classes. Scott and Danny were scheduled to go off at 10:20 Brian, Dave and I didn't have to start until after noon. The pictures are from before the race and the start of the cat 5 race.

Note to self pimp out Danny as cycling model.

Danny and Scott before the race

Brian getting ready to race

The rookie checks his afterburners
Scott and Danny at the Start
Cat 5Race takes off

Race day was extremely hot! Weather that was suppose to be in the mid 70's pushed to the low 90's. Until the first climb I joked in the peloton. "Anyone here from Canada? Silence "Good!" "How did Elliot Spitzer get caught? David Patterson was his lookout." I should of been closer to the front and remained in contact as the peloton climbed the first hill. I ended up off the back.
After the decent I found Dave and we worked hard to pick up riders and get back on. No way! Working with Dave saved my butt and how do I repay him. " Your buddy fell off the back" I ride on. Dave would later flat but only finish 15 minutes behind me. Great job Dave!

I ride on and start picking off riders from my age group. I don't draft them, I pass them and keep going. I pass Cat 4's who started 10 minutes ahead of me. Keep going Bobby! A speedy group of cat 2's who are doing the longer course pass me. Ok I did hook onto them for a mile or two sitting in the rocking chair position. I just wanted to admire their beautiful paceline technique. OK I just wanted to finish this race. I would also get a chance to ride in the Pro 1 pack for a short time. Incredible bike handling skills. It was cool to see they slow down just like us on the uphill sections.

Water was critical on this race. I had planned to carry two big bottles. Dave's wife gave me a third at the feed section 20 some miles into the race. Boy was I glad to see her! The race set up an emergency water stop in Cambridge and I wisely stopped and top off an empty.

The last dirt section that I had predrove in the car was sheer hell. By this point my kidneys were hurting and I started to cramp on the last climb. Only seeing Cat 2's walk their bike on the last hill encouraged me. I made it over the top without walking. On the downhill I caught a group of cat 2 who were wisely spinning into town. Their race was over. Not me! I power away from them. My goal had been to finish before the Pro race. With a hundred yards to go two Pro riders will pass me. I can feel the peloton and I sprint for the finish. Hey maybe I'll make the Pro finish photos coming in third! I hear the cheers of my teammates as I cross the line.

Exhausted and dehydrated we drive out of town. Dinner was at a Pricechopper. An incredible day. Note to self: Go back to Battenkill next year and have the Rookie wash the bugs off the windshield!

Danny was 3rd cat 5 His finishing time beat the winners of a bunch of races!
Scott was 20th cat 5 He would have bee 6th in the cat 5 age 35+ race
Brian was 11th in cat 4
I was 68th in Cat 4 Masters 40+
Dave was 73rd Cat 4 Masters 40+

See you in Binghamton on Sunday

January Practice

Captains Report:

Que cheesy NFL music and that announcer guy from Geico:

The hard men of the new Corning Cycling team knew the time was short and the Spring is fast approaching. Races are not won in April or May, they are lost in January. Six hardy souls appear on a gray 20 degree morning in the parking lot of the local mall. Their goal was not 600 calorie pretzels or a fast food smorgasbord, they were here to ride.

Present was the young Lieutenant with dreams of Cat 3 glory Brian Klotz, the sadistic artiste, teacher of children, wrestling coach of life, Scott Oudkirk, the Brothers Hertzler speakers of Dutch longing to regain their heritage of being called Flahutes one still jacked up on the drugs of a long haul trucker the other in love with a woman (hopefully it is not a 16 year old like Tom Boonen), the 6000 mile commuting man Kent Goben, here to give a loud karate hiyah to Winter, and their ever present Captain, Bobbo, who in another place and time would race the Spring classics beside such legends as Merckx, Rik Van Looy , & Roger De Vlaeminck.and only drink Belgium Ale.

Fenders were the essential gear of the day but three of our number did not have then. Flauthes don't need no stinking fenders. Drinking the spray of a bike as it drips off your shoulder is to drink Brennivín, otherwise known as "Black Death", the traditional drink of the Vikings. A brief reference is made to those who have chosen not to join this patrol, Jeff " Sunshine" Frutchey and Dave "Momma's Boy" Prugh.

Jesse "the Body" Ventura said it best "You're all a bunch of slack jawed maggots! This stuff will make you a sexual Tyrannosaurus. Just like me!" Well spoken Jesse.

We proceed to do laps around the Arnot Mall. Paceline practice. Dan is away, chase him down boys. John is Away. Kent is away! Lather rinse repeat.

Brian suggests a march to Corning and back. The frozen toes of youth will come but there will be a high price. The Veteran Captain wisely leads us to the hills that surround the mall and and drinks life back to frozen limbs. 24 miles at days end the computer will say. Miles in January count double enter 50 in your journal.

I would finish my day with a 5 mile hike up the hills of Elmira, a salad, a mini burger and one beer. What did you do on Sunday? See you next weekend or suffer another Jesse quote.





Dan Hertzler & Brian Klotz


John Hertzler


Kent, John, Dan, Scott & Ryan
Jeremy Wheeler & Ryan Morales December 30th2007
Captain BobboRyan Morales

Happy New Year

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My Last Cross Race of the Year?

With frost still hanging from the trees I left with my devoted cowbell ringing fans, Katie and Garrett, for a golf course on a mountain overlooking Binghamton, NY. The last race in the Central New york Cyclocross series would be my best finish. OK there were less people racing, so of course I did better. You won't see my name in the masters final standings, that's next years goal. This years goal was to race, have fun and get stronger. Those goals were achieved! I finished five of the seven races.

Each race has been different and this one saw us tearing up a public golf course on cold, crisp Sunday morning. Spectators could stand on a hill side and see the entire course as we raced around a mostly grass track. Great pictures are here http://picasaweb.google.com/jim.danvers/DPanellaCrossRaceNov2007

The course included a dirt pile, slippery downhill grass track, sewer pipes that most riders hopped ( I couldn't), a set of barriers in the wettest part of the course, the spiral of confusion, watch out for the pond, and climb the hill, scream at the announcer. Lather rinse repeat 7 times. I only fell once on a left hand turn in the grass track, still can't do those well and oh yeah once during the warmup I fell unclipping before the barriers. That's how my socks got wet!

Like every cross race the race is won or lost in the first five minutes during the hole shot. I actually did well and passed people heading into the dirt pile. The chokepoint of the dirt pile spread out the field. Say goodbye to the greybeards Bobby. Next year I may not catch Glenn Swann or Ernie Bayles ( may have to Cinzano those two) but Mark Shenstone and Billl Erickson I have your number. Emanual, Jack, and Dave rest in peace. Yes I will admit I was bested by skinny grey bearded professor types from that 6 square mile city surrounded by reality. If eating Tofu makes you faster I don't want to be fast!

My kids thought I finished fifth and gave me a big cheer. It was hard to admit them to them that the four guys who finished ahead of me had just lapped me on the final uphill. At least they didn't lap me twice like they did in the Swandrome race. I ended up 19th my best finish to date.

Lessons learned from the cross series.
1. Dry socks are your friends
2. Mall food tastes better after one hour of pain.
3. Yes I really needed a new cross bike!
4. I am not just slow because I didn't adequately warm up.
5. Cross is addicting

Next week is the New York State championships in Delamr NY. No I didn't qualify and I don't even live in NY, but maybe I need one more cross race to get this out of my system.........

And next year I expect some teammates to help me drink a beer when I get some points in this series. Congrats to Glenn Swann and Ernie Bayles for their one two finish in the masters series. Ad Stabel from Holland finished fifth is a true a Flahute.

Syracuse Grand Prix

Sunday was my 4th race and the most technically challenging race yet. I traveled to Syracuse with Vanessa and the best cow bell ringers in the world my kids. I was on an actual cross bike for this race. I bought one of those $99 Leader frames that I saw at the Ommegang race. With lots of hustle the frame arrived last Thursday and I had it all together by Saturday afternoon. Thanks to Paul and Sloane for helping me through the hard parts like bottom bracket, fork and brakes. Yeah I hear you what exactly did you but together Bob. My old Raliegh is now a naked frame and it's parts are on the Leader. Paul and Sloane suggested that I didn't deserve to be on a bike called The Leader. I suggested the Follower, they suggested the Bleeder and the funniest one was the Bleater.


So you want more pictures of my new bike

Creative rear brake hanger


Creative front brake hanger


A front view


Ok enough already give us a race report. Course was tough. Short paved zone, single track, grass, then barriers. Oh and on the first run over the barriers I got spiked in my calf with a chainring from this this guy

Think he mumbled sorry " Told Him I'll remember you!"

OK lost a few places after being distracted. The course then had a mud hole, a sideways a cross a hill, a downhill, more mud and the dreaded sand hill. Right before the hill were two barriers forcing us noncross gods to dismount and carry.

Here is Vanessa doing the barriers before the hill




Next run or push your bike up the hill


Yup thats me and I end up passing the guy ahead of me on the climb
Maybe I am getting better at this. A quick drop in gravity returns you to the start line. Lather rinse repeat as often as possible.

I ended up in a small group at the rear. Thanks to my kids cow bell ringin at the top of the sandhill I was able to pass them. I'm still chasing the graybeards of the FlCC, three races to go in the series. Maybe I'll catch them! The results are here I was 22 out of 33. Vanessa in her first cross race was 9th out of 13.

Another pic of Vanessa. How come they took so many of her and only one of me?



After it's over

Next week is an off weekend for cross and then I we are off to Rochester for Park Ave Bike Halloween Cross Cross race and costume contest. Maybe I can win the contentest if I dress up like Floyd Landis.

Doc Reilly Memorial Road Race

Saturday saw 3 Big Horn Velo riders in action at the Doc Reilly Memorial Road Race
Brian Klotz, Tim Carlson and myself. Also there and thinking of joining our team in the women's division was Michelle Beyler. Working the feed zone for us was Vanessa McCaffery. Vanessa is also expressing an interest in racing with us next season. Any and all women or men are always welcome to join us.

We did the 2 hour 15 minute ride in our trusty team van and arrived early enough to preride the course. The elevation profile was not lying. Not the hardest race we have done but challenging. The course was 17.6 miles. Tim and I elected to do two loops, hard man Brian would do three and race against Doug Carlson.

We got there and were directed were to park by guys in leather jackets turned out they were bikers for Jesus. Tim had a run in with one who was pacing our race when Tim wanted to go faster then the biker and the biker said he couldn't do that. Guess you are not suppose to be faster then a fat Christian on a hog. We even registered in the bar (very cool) There were 31 in my group and the course and the course immediately went up hill. I was smart and had installed my wheel with the 13-29 cassette for this race. I hung on till the top of the first hill this included the 15% climb ouch. I mad my normal mistake of not warming up enough and I was too far back in the lead back. A little gap and the pack is gone never to seen again. I feel like quitting but I settle down and ride my race. I eventually chased down two guys who also were spit off and convince them to work with me. One was Glenn a Clydesdale who reminded me of Mark Hogan and a skinny guy John from Albany who was doing his first race. We had made fun of a car with a Lemond bike on it's bike as not be a great race bike on the way up. Chasing John on his Lemond came back to haunt me.

Eventually my group caught the next three guys down the road, two guys with Maxpower Jerseys. For some reason I take delight in passing those guys. John immediately wanted to pass these guys. I held him back and we sat in on the rolling hills back to the start finish line. Did I mention. Nice 15mph head wind through out the course. Ouch. We go through the feed zone and I get a bottle from Vanessa and another bottle of water from the volunteers. This was the first race that I have done that gave neutral water, very cool. I do the pro move and dump the entire liter of water over my head. Out of the feed zone and time for the climb. I can't hold John back he attacks, I follow. The 15% climb hurts for me but more for John who is climbing in a 12-25. I love my 13-29! We drop our little group of 4. Continue climbing and we finally make the top both of us working together in the wind. Time for a wicked downhill. I make my move I know I can descend faster then John. My max speed was 50.2 mph. At the bottom I look back I have a nice 15 second gap. Back to the rollers and nasty headwind. John dips into his suitcase of courage and tries to catch my wheel. I stand and attack when I can. He's catching me. Wow! I go again and take back his gain. He charges again. This guy is relentless and the wind is killing me. Ok race smart Bobby. I let him catch with a mile to go. I am ready to attack and crush him. John is spent. "What's the etiquette in a situation like this he asks. I know you can beat me in the sprint." I smile and look back there is no one behind us. We finish together I say. We cross the line same time. Great race!

I ended up 17th out of 31. Tim Carlson was up the road from me and finished 5th. Nice job Tim. One of the finishers came up to me and thought I was Tim and started complaining how many attacks I made. I smiled and told him Tim's nickname is Vino. Vino always attacks. Tim got $10 for the effort and even shard the take with me. Now that is classy! Doug Carlson was 6th in his race. Brian had a bad day. Think he was dehydrated from the hot week. He isn't listed in the finish results but I think he finished 19th about 12 minutes behind the leaders. Michele kicked major butt and won the women's race against 5 other riders. Her finish time puts her only about 3 minutes behind me. I got to draft I think she was out front her entire race. Wow! Great job Michele. Here are the full results http://www.bikereg.com/Results/2007/08/04-Doc-Reilly-Memorial-Road-Race.asp

Next race is the Mansfield crashterium, I did not misspell the word! Michele is going to Albany to race and Tim Carlson will be in action at Little Falls