Merckx is Better Then You: January 2008

Captains Report:

Que cheesy NFL music and that announcer guy from Geico:

The hard men of the new Corning Cycling team knew the time was short and the Spring is fast approaching. Races are not won in April or May, they are lost in January. Six hardy souls appear on a gray 20 degree morning in the parking lot of the local mall. Their goal was not 600 calorie pretzels or a fast food smorgasbord, they were here to ride.

Present was the young Lieutenant with dreams of Cat 3 glory Brian Klotz, the sadistic artiste, teacher of children, wrestling coach of life, Scott Oudkirk, the Brothers Hertzler speakers of Dutch longing to regain their heritage of being called Flahutes one still jacked up on the drugs of a long haul trucker the other in love with a woman (hopefully it is not a 16 year old like Tom Boonen), the 6000 mile commuting man Kent Goben, here to give a loud karate hiyah to Winter, and their ever present Captain, Bobbo, who in another place and time would race the Spring classics beside such legends as Merckx, Rik Van Looy , & Roger De Vlaeminck.and only drink Belgium Ale.

Fenders were the essential gear of the day but three of our number did not have then. Flauthes don't need no stinking fenders. Drinking the spray of a bike as it drips off your shoulder is to drink Brennivín, otherwise known as "Black Death", the traditional drink of the Vikings. A brief reference is made to those who have chosen not to join this patrol, Jeff " Sunshine" Frutchey and Dave "Momma's Boy" Prugh.

Jesse "the Body" Ventura said it best "You're all a bunch of slack jawed maggots! This stuff will make you a sexual Tyrannosaurus. Just like me!" Well spoken Jesse.

We proceed to do laps around the Arnot Mall. Paceline practice. Dan is away, chase him down boys. John is Away. Kent is away! Lather rinse repeat.

Brian suggests a march to Corning and back. The frozen toes of youth will come but there will be a high price. The Veteran Captain wisely leads us to the hills that surround the mall and and drinks life back to frozen limbs. 24 miles at days end the computer will say. Miles in January count double enter 50 in your journal.

I would finish my day with a 5 mile hike up the hills of Elmira, a salad, a mini burger and one beer. What did you do on Sunday? See you next weekend or suffer another Jesse quote.